Toxic People

We interrupt today’s regularly scheduled programming (ha, I have always wanted to say that) to bring you some thoughts that are brewing around in my head while I sip my coffee (no pun intended). 

Have you ever felt misunderstood in a situation that was totally out of your control? You tried your best, you communicated your feelings, you followed the proper channels, and still you got shit on? No? Yes? Well, this is me today. Today, these are my feelings. Why am I sharing this you ask? I am sharing this because I know that I am not alone, and if I am feeling these feelings, I know someone else is too. I have learned through my blog, that I am anything but alone. The Universe has connected me to you through my writing and my story. For that, I am eternally grateful. 

Anyway, let’s get back to my point. My point here is this:

There are going to be times where we are all called upon to fight, to take a stand against something that is in direct contradiction with our morals and values. Why are we called upon to do this, and by who? The answer is simple; the universe calls us to do this work because it is a part of our purpose. Some of us are vessels for the voiceless, for the weak, for the groups of people who have been told they will never amount to anything.

This is where character is born, where it is shaped, and where it is strengthened. As most of you know, I work as a school counselor. The job has its perks, but it also has its cons. I have heard the saddest of the sad stories, I have seen the worst, most targeted behavior by people who are meant to serve and protect. However, I have made the conscious decision to continue to stand up for those who need me the most even if I am targeted and hated because of it.  

Here is what I hope you will receive from my message today. If you are called upon to help, please do so regardless of fear, or how people might perceive you. Remember, it is not your business to worry about what others think about you, it is not your job to please everyone, as each human in this world, has their own agenda. You know the saying “you can be ripest, sweetest, peach in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches.” The saying rings true, and you are not for everyone, but you are for someone. 

The truth is toxic people exist everywhere in this world, it is how we handle them, and how we react to them that will lead us to happily coexist with them. Here are some common traits that toxic people have:

1. Lack of boundaries-toxic people have no limits; they will push you to the end of your rope and exhaust you with their negativity and inability to let shit go. 
2. They are there to win no matter what, even if this means playing dirty. I have always said “you can’t win when you’re dirty.” In other words, nothing good comes out by cheating, lying and hurting others in order to get ahead. 
3. They will always and I mean always find a way to make you the bad guy in order to save their own ass. 
4. Zero accountability-toxic people will not take accountability because they “are not wrong” or will never admit it if they are. 
5. Apologize-never expect an apology from a toxic person, remember what I said about accountability? Apologizing means that they are taking responsibilities for their actions, and that is something they are not willing to do.

So, you were called upon to take a stand, what do you do?

1. Maintain Healthy Boundaries- healthy, professional, personal, no-nonsense boundaries. You have the choice to say, “this is what I will not tolerate” and “this is what I will not entertain.” 
2. Stay Composed-you only have control over yourself, no one else. You cannot control what someone else says or does, but you can control how you react to it.
3. Do not take things personal-the moment you take things personally you have made it about you, and remember, it is not about you. Toxic people behave a certain way because of how they see themselves, and the way they see themselves has nothing to do with you.
4. Good Intentions-Whatever you do, do it with good intentions, you cannot go wrong, and if you do wrong (sometimes shit happens) you can at least feel good knowing you tried to do the right thing. 
5. Drop the Rope-toxic people  love to play tug of war (it’s their favorite game) and will not let go of that rope to save their own life. Do NOT do that. Don’t play their game. Drop the rope and protect your energy. 

I hope this message finds those who needed to hear it the most. I will be back next week with Part 11 of my purpose story. 

Did you like what I shared? Let me know in the comments down below and subscribe to my blog, as I am in the middle of creating content like this that I would love to deliver to you on a weekly to biweekly basis.

See you soon!

Doralee